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Not All Keys Click

        


         I'm not done with this episode.  Have you ever had a key go into a lock but it doesn't open that door?  A lot of keys fit but they don't always open the right door.  L and I live in a very old house, and we have doors everywhere.  Some with keys some without.  Some of these old keys have been worn down and don't always click into place but they open the door nun the less.  For L and me, this couldn't be more true.  It's the right key.  It's the right lock.  It's the right door, and everything will work but it just doesn't click all the time.    For Luara and Carmilla this is also true.  Maybe even more accurate than L and I.  I bring this up because Laura brings this analogy up in this episode.  I don't practically agree with her statement.  I'm guessing she will learn that not all keys have to click smoothly to open the right door.   

      So finally, the two are alone again.  Do you ever get the sense that Carmilla is playing chess and Laura is playing checkers?  Carmilla is always two steps ahead of Laura almost as if she knows what's going to happen before it happens.  So Laura askes the question.  Why her? What makes her different from anyone else she has met over time?  Carmilla however doubles down expressing that their viewpoints of what they want are different.  She is deeply in love and really cares for Laura but just Laura.  Laura is upset because she knows she wants that too but she wants reasons and justifications and safety.  Carmilla then goes into that.  Laura is the only person she found worth saving.  This is a total setup.  Carmilla knows what's coming next even though it will hurt Laura.  She is laying the groundwork for later. Carmilla knows this relationship isn't done and she knows her sister is going to do something irrational and when she does she is putting in Laura's head that she will eventually have to sacrifice something for Carmilla because she is special to Laura too.   


        

    L and I don't always click all day every day.  Sometimes it’s bumpy and has conflict.  For the last couple of years, this has been exactly where L and I have been at.  We have not met each other's expectations for the other.  We both need each other but in different ways.  L needed me to be supportive and compassionate.  L needs me to be there helping her through troubled waters with school the kid's life being supportive and help with what she needed.  I need her to be a wife my best friend and a lover.  I need her to go places.  Do things with me spend time with me.  We wanted different things from each other and my answer was to get distant and hers was to keep telling me what she needed.  I tried to show her.  She tried to tell me.  It didn't work and our relationship suffered.   

        I thought that season one had opened my eyes.  This season has been even more eye-opening.  It has allowed me and L to understand why we weren't happy in our relationship.  It has shown me why L hasn't been happy in our relationship.  I have seen that argument.  Yelling not only doesn't work but it causes more harm than good.  L and I will always have frustrations with each other but our understanding of each other has gotten so much better.  Since I found the show my communication with L has gotten so much better.  We are on the same page more often and "us" has gotten way better.  Our key fits it doesn't always click but it opens the right door.                     

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