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"That New Relationship Smell"

      




        When a relationship starts it's like that new car smell everything is exciting and new.  Songs sound different, food tastes better you just feel like your floating.  You want to see this person constantly you want them all to yourself.  Time apart seems like forever.  You want to share everything about yourself with them.  Your hopes and dreams your fears and sadness.  It's like your floating on a cloud.  Something also happens our insecurities about ourselves come out and the fear of revealing these insecurities to someone so special and how they will react is scary.

          "Brave New World" Episode 1.  The episode starts in the dark and is illuminated by lightning and thunder followed by Laura turning on the lights.  Foreshadowing abounds that our young lovers are headed towards some dark times.  Carmilla is looking for intimate moments with her new girlfriend whereas Laura has begun vlogging again much to Carmilla's disapproval.  Carmilla kisses Laura wanting the vlogging to stop only to be interrupted by LaFontaine.  Eventually, LaFontaine leaves as Carmilla and Laura snuggle on a couch.  Laura brings up Carmilla's "Romantic Wilds" and is intimidated by Carmilla's centuries as a despoiler of virtues.  (I will read between the lines here at this point I don't think any real intimacy has happened yet) Laura is the first to bring up her insecurities about the relationship in that since Carmilla has lived a long time that she could never live up to the expectations that Carmilla has for her.  Granted seconds later Laura says Carmilla you saved me and everyone else and that she changed for her.  Sounds like both girls have the same insecurities that they could never live up to the expectations of the other.

        Insecurities abounded at the start of L's and my relationship.  For L it was very much self-image and was she good enough for me.  When love hits hard and fast insecurities tend to be the most common thing because things move so fast.  For me, I was insecure about knowing what I was feeling and how to tell L how I was feeling.  Honestly telling L how I feel still my biggest insecurity.  Sure this episode appeared to be all romance, but it strongly hinted at the fact insecurities abound in the relationship.  Since the start, there has been an elephant in the room and it hasn't been brought up I'm guessing it's coming.

     

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