STRESS

        

    How do you deal with stress?  Interesting question, because everyone deals with it differently.  Some just lash out in anger (Perry).  Some make jokes (Lafontaine).  Some use logic sense and reason (Danny).  Some use violence (Mattie).  Some use emotion and feeling. (Laura).  Finally, some people just have this way of handling it calmly and coolly (Carmilla).  If you haven't guessed at this point L and I are Laura and Carmilla in how we handle stress.  I'm not saying there is a perfect way to deal with stress or a right or a wrong way.  I'm just pointing out there are different ways to deal with stress and each has there pros and cons.

        "Compulsory Violence" Episode 22.  Since the breakup things have gone from bad to worse for the students of Silas University.  The board has been taken over by a ruthless dictator who has called for the execution of all vampires. Put in power by Laura.  Laura is hiding Carmilla and Mattie and JP under the Dean's apartment as she tries to deal with the warring factions.  Oh and the whole Carmilla breakup thing still there.  So stress is high.   Really high especially when you're taking on everyone's stress plus your own stress.  Add in a lack of sleep and constant fighting someone like Laura is going to break.  Take notes Carmilla this is who Laura is.  It's what makes you love her and want to keep saving her.  Not just from evil but from herself.  

        When you love someone like L and Laura you have to deal with this daily.  Even your own stress is their stress. For L with her own problems, three kids, a dog, countless students her own family, my family, and me.  She has collected a ton of people and things to be stress about, she takes on all of their problems, stress, and anxiety-like they are her own.  I learned this very early on with L and I made a lot of mistakes.  I had to learn how to live with someone like this over time with experience.  I can tell you it's not easy and I still fail from time to time.  

        First thing I learned.  I am a fixer if I make a mistake or have a problem I instantly try and fix that problem or error.  Early on when L was stressed about school or her roommates or her sorority.  I would instantly try and fix the problem.  Probably my biggest mistake and most common.  It took me a while to learn what to do in each situation.  Most stress can't be fixed instantly.  Fix what you can fix.  So Laura is highly stressed and says she needs sleep.  Carmilla, clear the room gets everyone out, and allow Laura to get some sleep.  Fix what you can fix.  Provide ideas and solutions that will help when asked for.  Just be there to listen don't speak.      

      Next thing I learned.  This one I'm still working on.  Don't get into shouting matches with your significant other or anyone else in the room.  L hates arguments and yelling I'm thinking Laura is also similar to this.  I grew up in a house where arguing and heated debates are a national pastime.  It's hard-wired into me so to fall for someone who hates arguments was a long and hard adjustment.  I have gotten much better, but it's still an issue for me at times.  The first thing is.  Always be on her side unless you feel like it's worth the argument.  If you don't agree calmly walk away cool off come back and give her your side of the argument.  Never be upset that is when arguments turn into fights.  Be ok with losing the argument.  You will win some you will lose some. Unless she makes that face (Carmilla and Laura Parallels) Don't take the losses personally.  Finally, never ever raise your voice in an argument with her or with anyone else.  You are just adding to the stress of the situation by yelling.

        

    Finally, most importantly know when to be close and know when to give them space.  Carmilla and I express most of our emotions through body language it's not hard to tell our emotions through our body language.  Laura and L however have another way to communicate facial expressions.  Told you this show was amazing at how much L and I have in common with Laura and Carmilla.  Read their faces.  The eyes are the key if they look sad they want comfort if they look angry they want space.  Listen as well most times they will tell you what they need. 

    Stress can be very hard.  Not just on a person but a relationship especially if someone is taking on a lot of the burden.  For Carmilla, she is in deep.  She like Laura is clearly stressed and they both are trying to manage it in their own way.  The problem for Carmilla is she likes to deal with stress on her own, and Laura she needs support and understanding.  I have learned over time to deal with mine and L's stress and I still struggle to manage it to this day.