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Compromising Who We Are. For Someone We Love.

 Compromising who we are can be very scary.  Especially when it is values and beliefs you hold dearest. You are about the make a decision that isn't black or white. The decision usually has positives and negatives.  For Carmilla, she has already asked herself this question.  Is she worth it?  By trying to rescue Laura she answered yes.  Now it's Laura's turn. She is now presented with the question.  Is she worth it?  



        The Execution of Carmilla Karnstein" Episode 36. Danny is dead Carmilla has been captured by Vordenberg.  Laura has essentially given up and doesn't know what to do.  Enter Vordenber who is surprised by the fact Laura isn't upset at Carmilla's execution. Carmilla is also surprised by this "Wait, what?  You beg me to come and save you and I do, even though you blew me off by way of Doris Day." Laura " I blew you off?  I wasn’t the one who was all "Evil wins, Laura."It just wins”  Well, guess what?  You didn’t come and it did.  Danny’s dead." A slight misunderstanding.  Perry comes in giving Laura the charter to the school which she knows will destroy Vodenberg.  Vodenberg mocking Carmilla reveals that his great-great-grandfather is the one who killed Carmilla at the ball because she didn't want to marry him.  Vodenberg raises his sward and Laura says "I can't let you do that."  Vodenberg and Carmilla look up at Laura.  Vodenberg then explains. "No, you won’t, Fraulein Hollis.  Because you and I are the same.  You believe, not in the harsh truth of the world, but in a beautiful story.  You can’t kill me, because that isn’t what a heroine does.  Not in the world you want to live in.  Also, with every other member of the Board dead, killing me would effectively transfer all of Silas to the Corvae Corporation, undoing everything that you and your friends have fought and died for.  And for what?  This creature?   Laura now has a decision to make.  Compromise her values to save Carmilla and watch everything burn to the ground or stick to her values and watch Carmilla die and allow Vodenberg to rule. Laura then breaks the charter over her knee destroying Vodenberg.  

    For starters, L would totally kill for me if she had to.  L had to make a sacrifice very similar to what Laura had to do.  When our first daughter was born.  L had to compromise, making everyone happy to making her daughter happy.  L knew I would go along with every crazy idea she had at this point, but now she had to think of our daughter too.  L struggled with this early on stretching herself thin often.  It took L till recently to figure out she had again overstretched herself and forgot to take time to work on us.  ( "Those who prefer their principles over their happiness they refuse to be happy outside of the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness."- Albert Camus.)    Laura can still put everything ahead of Carmilla she just has to acknowledge Carmilla's feelings before putting the greater good before themselves.  A lesson Laura has finally learned after compromising her values and morals by killing Vodenberg.     

  


  Laura standing in shock.  Looks at Carmilla and Carmilla looking back at Laura gives her a look.  If you have ever loved someone it's a look that says a lot without saying any words.  Carmilla is saying with her eyes and her expression  I forgive you.  I love you.  And everything is going to be alright.  Carmilla then smiles after she sees the same look from Laura.  Sometimes a look is all it takes.  Carmilla knows Laura is headed to a dark place that is why she gives her that look and takes Laura by the hand and leads her down into the secret passage to try and repair the damage caused by this decision.  The camera cuts to black and Perry has mysteriously disappeared.   

    That look before the two head into the secret passage L and I have only done it once.  It happened at the airport.  L and I had been dating for about 3 years up to this point.  L was visiting her sister in New York City.  Before she left we had an argument, because I couldn't take her to the airport and she had to leave her car at the airport.  We didn't talk while she was gone.   We were still working on our stubbornness at the time.   While she was gone I was feeling bad for not taking her to the airport and for being a stubborn jerk.  So I decided to meet her at the airport even though she had a car at the airport already.  Her flight got in late Sunday night so I drove the two hours to the airport and waited for her flight to get in.  While waiting for her I went over in my head what I was going to say.  I came up with a lot of good ways to say I was sorry until she came through the security gate and saw me.  We both had the same look on our face that same face Carmilla and Laura made.  I'm sorry.  I love you.  I forgive you.  We hugged she kissed me and said "You drove all the way up here to see me."  I responded, "Of course I did you did it for me." Referring to her taking me to the airport a year earlier.  A look that's all it took. Our fight was minor in comparison to Laura and Carmilla but you can say a lot with a little action and a look.    

Amendment 

I told you a story about L compromising who she is for our daughter.  For me, that has also been a struggle.  I was a student who struggled during school as is our daughter.  I am trying hard to instill in her school is important and that she has to work hard to learn.  I am obviously trying too hard because it has led to fighting between us.  I am realizing that I need to compromise my stance on how hard I push her and making it more fun so we can get along and she can succeed.  










  

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