When we fall down. Who’s there to pick us up?

 

     When we fall down. Who’s there to pick us up?  When you're a child that’s an easy answer. Our parents. When there’s no one there it’s up to us. Friends can sometimes do the job. But when you're in love there is only one person that can help you up. They know us better than anyone they know what we need to see and what we need to hear.  They know how to pull us up when we fall.  Buckle up this is going to be a long one.    

Carmilla knowing where Laura's head is at tries to make a joke to cheer up Laura. "There, see.  Back in the surveillance state.  You can … update till your heart’s content and complain about how your stuck with me as a roommate again." Carmilla has been here before.  Remember episode 28 of Season one? (Support, Dance, Sleep on the Floor)  Episode 28 was the practice for the big game and the big game is about to start.  Laura has now had time to process what has just transpired.  In episode 28 LaFontaine had been taken and Perry is blaming Laura, Carmilla, and herself for allowing it to happen.  Now Perry and JP are missing.  Laura then comes in "I killed him.  I killed him, and we lost Danny and Perry and the whole school." Laura is now blaming herself for everything.  Carmilla tries to comfort her "You did what you could." Only to fall on deaf ears.  36 hours pass and a new live feed comes on in a new location within the library.  

    Carmilla and Laura have cleaned up and Laura is now in a deep state of depression.  Laura at the moment has a lot of walls up and it's going to take a lot of work to tear them down.  Laura hasn't spoken in 36 hours.  The same Laura who talks a lot and often.  So space isn't working for Carmilla at this point.   "You’ve gotta give it up to the mad scientist.  Less than 36 hours to set up an Ethernet cable in a non-Euclidean space.  Although the fact that Radical Ed's starting to talk to the walls is a bit troubling.  Also, the fact that they seem to be talking back (faint indistinct whispers can be heard)  Yeah … (turns to Laura)  Okay.  Are you hungry?  Cause you know, I found a vending machine on the first floor, so now we have chocolate, and chocolate with bits of cookies in it, and chocolate with some kind of fudge-like substance..." Carmilla, like always making a joke to break the ice and try and cheer Laura up with sweets and chocolate.  Laura stops Carmilla mid-sentence "Stop. Pleases. Stop." Carmilla knowing Laura is now speaking again presses on "She speaks. I was beginning to worry you'd forgotten how."  Laura responds "I know what you're trying to do.  It's not going to work." Oh, but it is working. Carmilla has succeeded in getting Laura to open up a little.  She tells her whatever deep dark is going on isn't going to scare her away.  Essentially telling Laura whatever happens from here on out she will be by her side till the end.

    

   

 Up until this point, Carmilla is doing an excellent job getting Laura to open up. There is only one person at this moment who can help Laura.  It isn't her Dad.  It isn't Danny.  It isn't Perry.  It isn't LaFontaine.  It's Carmilla.  Laura then really opens up "I killed him."  Carmilla with gratitude and thanks replies "Yeah I'm not really complaining over here."  Carmilla knowing what's coming next allows Laura to interrupt.  "No.  You don’t understand.  I fought so hard trying to fix this place - we lost so much trying to save it.  Your sister.  Danny.   And then the moment came and I killed him.  I burned that poor man to the ground and I didn’t care.  When I thought he was going to kill you - I didn’t care - I just wanted to save you.  And now Perry and JP are missing and who knows what the Corvae are going to do to those poor students. And I lost - I lost us everything.  I feel like I lost myself."  Carmilla got it.   Finally, Laura admitting to herself she put everything before them and it cost them everything.  Now that all the walls have come down.  Carmilla's work begins by helping Luara find herself again.

        Carmilla holds Laura as she cries.  Being there for someone you love in their darkest moment can be both a sad and loving moment.  For Laura, she is beyond sad but is glad the person she loves is right there holding her.  And for Carmilla, she is finding out that Laura's feelings for her have never gone away and have only been strengthened by the ordeal.  Carmilla then starts the rebuild of Laura and their relationship. "Y’know, saving the world would be a whole lot easier if you could just remain innocent.  If your conscience was always clear, and you never made mistakes.  But a moment of forgetting to care isn’t the same as a lifetime of apathy, okay?  And, yes.  You - you made a mess.  But Vordenberg, and Mattie, and I, we all had - we all had a hand in this and you didn’t do it alone.  I might not always like the choices you make or the way things turn out, but I think it would be infinitely more tragic if you let that stop you from trying.  If you let it turn you into me."  Ok, two things.  First after Carmilla in-season one offered support to Laura I wanted to give her a standing ovation.  When she said that I about jumped through the screen and gave her a hug.  Second I think these last two moments have changed Carmilla softened her hard exterior. She now has to try as hard as Laura does to fix what is broken in Laura and between them.  Things are going to be awkward for a while but this is the beginning of the healing between the two.  

        So what made me want to give Carmilla a hug.  Simple I have been through a few moments similar to this with L.  Hard moments in a relationship can do one of two things bring you closer together or destroy the relationship.  For L and me, we have both been through some ruff things the roughest happened two years ago.  L and I had been trying for a child for over a year and we finally succeeded.  L was pregnant everything seemed to be going well until late one night.  L wakes me up from a dead sleep.  She said there is blood in my pee I said ok why don't you call the doctor in the morning and see if you can get in.  Spotting is normal early on in a pregnancy.  L goes to the doctor the next day and there is no heartbeat.  L is devastated I was too but I could never understand what L was going through.  The doctor scheduled an appointment the next day.  L told me I didn't have to come to her appointment.  I did anyway I told her no one should go through this alone.  I held her hand before and after the procedure.  It was a rough couple of weeks to pull her out of that dark place.  Knowing it wasn’t something I couldn’t fix or understand.  I just kept being supportive and encouraging and when I could cheer her up. 

When our partner is in a dark place.  We feel helpless.  Carmilla has no idea the extent of Laura's depression.   And I could never understand what it was like for L.  The best thing we can do is be there for them.  Be supportive and hope that time heals their wounds.  For L she eventually came back to normal and about a year after we were blessed with our son.  Laura and Carmilla will find their peace one way or another.